Many people never realize how hard it is to stop divorce proceedings because of reconciliation. For simply you just can’t say no once you filed those papers. For some, divorce could be the only way to save whatever’s left in the relationship-respect. For some, they consider divorce as the healthiest option in dissolving their relationship. There are also some who realized middle way that divorce isn’t really the answer, all because they finally reconciled and renewed ties with their partner. What if you feel that you never really wanted to pursue the matter but already filed those papers, how can you stop divorce proceedings because of eventual reconciliation? How can you stop these all from happening?
The truth is you can’t really just phone your lawyer and ask him to stop it for you. If your spouse filed the divorce, the other partner needs to comply. Getting rid of the idea is easier but the actual happening of making the divorce proceedings stop is harder. One cannot just say and reiterate the fact that you guys wanted to stay married. After all the filing has commenced and must be met.
Consult your divorce lawyer. Ask for suggestions or best available options. Explain why you need to end the proceedings and let your lawyer do the legal thing possible. In cases wherein divorce has been already filed, the best thing that one could do was to seek legal advice, ask for legal suggestions and take note of whatever legal consequences it could bring.
The idea of divorce proceedings being suspended because of reconciliation is never an easy task. That is why divorce is not a matter that must be rushed into. Hasty decisions often lead to divorce and marriage dissolution. Remind yourself that once you filed those papers, you’re bound by the law to comply and answer the petition. If your spouse filed for divorce, the next step would be to get a divorce lawyer, to make certain that your individual rights are duly protected. In certain countries like the United States, a divorce can be granted even without the spouse’s active participation. The courts will still continue holding the proceedings even upon refusal of the other person. There are also states which uphold the ‘no fault policy’ and in this case, divorce can still resume, the courts will acknowledge the proceedings and grant divorce anyway.
A marriage saved is always a good thing. It is advisable not to end a marriage due to irreconcilable differences, especially if you honestly feel that such isn’t real. Marriage must be kept given the right time and reasons. And divorce must be considered if and when such right reasons cease to exist.
Divorce is a very painful issue. It not only affects the two parents involved, but if there are children, it hurts them a lot.
Like the cliché says, it takes two to tango. While true for marriage as well, it definitely takes two to make go a divorce. Both parties must consent to pushing through the divorce.
So if one parent is unwilling due to various reasons, there is still hope in stopping your divorce.
If you are in the awful situation of breaking up, here are some tips on how to stop your divorce-
1. In every relationship, communication is important. Please learn how to communicate to your partner for you and your children’s sake. So many divorces happen because pride and petty games kept both partners from talking to each other. Frequent and open dialogue solves the vast majority of all relationship problems, marriage or otherwise.
2. The nagging stops now. Learn how to control yourself when you feel your tongue wagging. Sometimes it is better to just trust. Trust that your partner will do his duties and responsibilities at home. Trust that he or she will do their job as a wife or husband. Let go once in a while. Every relationship has give and take, and in a healthy relationship you’ll always feel like you’re giving more than you’re taking, so stop keeping score.
3. In relationships, it never really helps to be paranoid and accusative. And especially in times of divorce, hurtful words like accusations and feelings of distrust will only push your partner to go through the divorce. If your partner is indeed trustworthy, trust issues can make things go sour fast. Don’t assume by default your partner is keeping secrets or lying unless you have rock-solid and undeniable evidence otherwise.
Besides, being constantly suspicious is an exhausting attitude and you will radiate a strong aura of distrust. Even if your partner is doing nothing to be suspicious about, it will drive them away.
4. Support your other half in the things he or she is happy with. Some causes of divorce are that the other party does not pay attention to the happiness of the other. He or she does not share his or her likes. We all want support. We all want to be happy. Why not give in for once? And if you rationalize that you have been giving in every time, again, tip number two contains the golden rule. You’ll always feel like you’re giving more than you’re taking, that’s part of a healthy relationship.
5. Have a lot of self-respect. Do not always be the person who feels self-pity. Improve yourself in your physical look and in your outlook in life. You might have been neglecting yourself and this affected your partner. If your problems aren’t rooted in estrangement, you might be wise to find a new social group and make new friends by taking up a new hobby or meeting with people with a common interest. If you’ve gotten out of shape, consider something physical, as exercise can lead to immediate boosts in attractiveness, confidence, and happiness no matter how much weight you have or haven’t gained since getting married.
6. Whenever you feel that your top is blowing, go to someplace else-quick. Do not throw your anger to anyone. Like what many people said, throw your anger to the wind. Count from one to ten. Take deep breaths. Find a punching bag-but not your partner (or your children!). Look to a friend to help you. Saying things out of anger never ends well.
7. Always be truthful in everything. Lies and more lies can and will hurt any kind of relationship tremendously. Likewise, reward your partner when they are honest; if they confess something to you don’t get upset or at least, consider how much courage and trust it took to tell you and react appropriately. Sometimes even a situation involving unfaithfulness can lead to a working and better marriage if both partners are willing to be honest and communicate frequently.
Basically, trust, communication, and mutual desire to "give" and work at the relationship are the keys to not just salvaging it but making it better than it ever was. Simple concepts, but oftentimes are hard to execute if you’re not willing to swallow your pride.
Even with the above tips, sometimes we really have to face reality. A divorce may just be the thing to save your relationship–or yourself. If your partner is abusive or chronically unfaithful you are in serious physical danger and need to get out of the relationship at any cost. There is nothing you did or could possibly do to deserve that kind of treatment, NO EXCEPTIONS. I would like to remind you that abusive partners work on a pattern of being nice and friendly and giving for a while, then doing horrible things. If you ever catch yourself thinking or saying "but when he/she isn’t ___(something abusive here)___, he/she is such a wonderful person/spouse!" then it is a sign you probably need to end your relationship.
If your problems are not those of abuse, there is hope to save your relationship and make it better. It’s all about trust, communication, and giving.