Divorce is a very painful issue. It not only affects the two parents involved, but if there are children, it hurts them a lot.
Like the cliché says, it takes two to tango. While true for marriage as well, it definitely takes two to make go a divorce. Both parties must consent to pushing through the divorce.
So if one parent is unwilling due to various reasons, there is still hope in stopping your divorce.
If you are in the awful situation of breaking up, here are some tips on how to stop your divorce-
1. In every relationship, communication is important. Please learn how to communicate to your partner for you and your children’s sake. So many divorces happen because pride and petty games kept both partners from talking to each other. Frequent and open dialogue solves the vast majority of all relationship problems, marriage or otherwise.
2. The nagging stops now. Learn how to control yourself when you feel your tongue wagging. Sometimes it is better to just trust. Trust that your partner will do his duties and responsibilities at home. Trust that he or she will do their job as a wife or husband. Let go once in a while. Every relationship has give and take, and in a healthy relationship you’ll always feel like you’re giving more than you’re taking, so stop keeping score.
3. In relationships, it never really helps to be paranoid and accusative. And especially in times of divorce, hurtful words like accusations and feelings of distrust will only push your partner to go through the divorce. If your partner is indeed trustworthy, trust issues can make things go sour fast. Don’t assume by default your partner is keeping secrets or lying unless you have rock-solid and undeniable evidence otherwise.
Besides, being constantly suspicious is an exhausting attitude and you will radiate a strong aura of distrust. Even if your partner is doing nothing to be suspicious about, it will drive them away.
4. Support your other half in the things he or she is happy with. Some causes of divorce are that the other party does not pay attention to the happiness of the other. He or she does not share his or her likes. We all want support. We all want to be happy. Why not give in for once? And if you rationalize that you have been giving in every time, again, tip number two contains the golden rule. You’ll always feel like you’re giving more than you’re taking, that’s part of a healthy relationship.
5. Have a lot of self-respect. Do not always be the person who feels self-pity. Improve yourself in your physical look and in your outlook in life. You might have been neglecting yourself and this affected your partner. If your problems aren’t rooted in estrangement, you might be wise to find a new social group and make new friends by taking up a new hobby or meeting with people with a common interest. If you’ve gotten out of shape, consider something physical, as exercise can lead to immediate boosts in attractiveness, confidence, and happiness no matter how much weight you have or haven’t gained since getting married.
6. Whenever you feel that your top is blowing, go to someplace else-quick. Do not throw your anger to anyone. Like what many people said, throw your anger to the wind. Count from one to ten. Take deep breaths. Find a punching bag-but not your partner (or your children!). Look to a friend to help you. Saying things out of anger never ends well.
7. Always be truthful in everything. Lies and more lies can and will hurt any kind of relationship tremendously. Likewise, reward your partner when they are honest; if they confess something to you don’t get upset or at least, consider how much courage and trust it took to tell you and react appropriately. Sometimes even a situation involving unfaithfulness can lead to a working and better marriage if both partners are willing to be honest and communicate frequently.
Basically, trust, communication, and mutual desire to "give" and work at the relationship are the keys to not just salvaging it but making it better than it ever was. Simple concepts, but oftentimes are hard to execute if you’re not willing to swallow your pride.
Even with the above tips, sometimes we really have to face reality. A divorce may just be the thing to save your relationship–or yourself. If your partner is abusive or chronically unfaithful you are in serious physical danger and need to get out of the relationship at any cost. There is nothing you did or could possibly do to deserve that kind of treatment, NO EXCEPTIONS. I would like to remind you that abusive partners work on a pattern of being nice and friendly and giving for a while, then doing horrible things. If you ever catch yourself thinking or saying "but when he/she isn’t ___(something abusive here)___, he/she is such a wonderful person/spouse!" then it is a sign you probably need to end your relationship.
If your problems are not those of abuse, there is hope to save your relationship and make it better. It’s all about trust, communication, and giving.